Rebecca’s Story: “It’s Your Will. It’s Not My Will.”

Rebecca spent years working in the medical field before an injury changed the course of her life.

She hurt her back and was prescribed pain medication. Then came three spinal surgeries in just three months.

Two failed.

One was successful.

But the pain medication remained.

“When I ran out of pain medication, I went to the street.”

What began with a legitimate injury eventually turned into years of addiction, homelessness, loss, and survival.

For 13 years, Rebecca lived homeless on the streets of Chicago.

And then she lost her husband.

Thirteen Years on the Streets

Rebecca had been with her husband for 18 years when he was killed.

By that point, addiction had already taken a lot from her.

“I had no family. I had burned every bridge and I was by myself.”

One memory from that season has stayed with her.

Her husband had been dead for three days.

Rebecca had only the clothes she was wearing.

A shirt.

A pair of pants.

She found a piece of cardboard and tucked herself between two garbage bins during a Chicago snowstorm.

She covered herself with a sheet.

Then morning came.

Transportation was shut down.

There were feet of snow on the ground.

And Rebecca still had a court date to make.

“I Made It”

Rebecca started walking.

She made it to the courthouse soaked, freezing, and 30 minutes early.

“It was just me and it was my last day and I made it.”

She had completed 18 months of probation while homeless.

“I made it.”

But that night outside had taken a serious toll on her body.

Rebecca had hypothermia.

Part of one of her toes had to be amputated because of the cold.

Even so, she kept going.

For the next four years, she stayed clean on her own.

But something was still missing.

Clean, But Empty

Rebecca had made it from Chicago to Florida.

She had stayed clean for four years.

She wasn’t going to meetings.

She didn’t have a support system.

And even though she wasn’t using, she says she still felt empty.

“I had done given up.”

Then, in December 2023, Rebecca relapsed.

This time, she did something unusual.

She called the police on herself.

“I need help. Please come get me.”

She was arrested and spent seven months in jail.

But while she was there, something changed.

Two in the Morning

Rebecca remembers the moment clearly.

It was around 2:00 in the morning.

She had reached the end of herself.

“I give up.”

Then she gave her life to the Lord.

Rebecca knew that if she was going to seek recovery again, she wanted faith to be at the center of it.

“I don’t want a secular recovery center.”

“If I’m going for you, I want somewhere that’s faith-based.”

That is when Charis House came into the picture.

Coming to Charis House

Rebecca says her time at Charis House has been “absolutely amazing.”

But she is also open about the woman who first arrived there.

“I wasn’t accountable for myself.”

“It was everybody’s fault but my own.”

“I was full of anger.”

“I wanted to fight everybody.”

That honesty matters.

Recovery is not only about changing circumstances.

Sometimes it means finally seeing the ways we have blamed others, resisted responsibility, or tried to control everything ourselves.

Rebecca had survived a lot.

She had also reached a point where surviving was not enough.

Something deeper had to change.

Getting Out of the Way

For Rebecca, that change came through surrender.

“When I finally submitted to him, giving my life, my will, my heart to him…”

She stopped insisting on doing everything her own way.

“Okay, take this and do it. It’s your will. It’s not my will.”

That did not mean Rebecca suddenly had every answer.

It meant she was finally willing to stop fighting for control.

“I’m just getting out the way and I’m going to let you work and I’m just going to watch and see what happens.”

She had spent years trying to survive through sheer determination.

Now she was learning how to be still.

“Be Still and Know That I Am God”

Rebecca connects that season of surrender with Psalm 46:10:

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

For someone who had spent years running, surviving, fighting, and trying to hold life together, stillness did not come naturally.

Neither did surrender.

But that is where Rebecca began to change.

Not because her past disappeared.

Not because the losses stopped mattering.

Not because recovery suddenly became easy.

But because she stopped trying to carry everything alone.

A Different Kind of Strength

Rebecca’s story is full of strength.

She survived homelessness.

She survived a brutal Chicago winter.

She made it to court when almost everything was working against her.

She stayed clean for four years on her own.

But her testimony shows that strength by itself was not enough.

She needed support.

She needed accountability.

She needed faith.

And she needed to surrender.

For Rebecca, Charis House became the place where those things came together.

When You’re Tired of Doing It Alone

Maybe you’ve been surviving for years.

Maybe you know how to push through pain.

Maybe you know how to keep going even when everything around you is falling apart.

And maybe, underneath all of that strength, you are exhausted.

Rebecca knows what that feels like.

She also knows what it feels like to finally say:

“I give up.”

Not in hopelessness.

In surrender.

Sometimes that is where a new life begins.

You don’t have to keep doing this alone. If you’re ready to stop fighting for control and begin rebuilding your life with Christ at the center, learn more about Charis House and apply today.